I find the (for lack of a better description) right-and-left debate over sex education to be quite amusing.
The discussion in its simplest terms comes down to education versus abstinence.
Oh, how they roil in what seems to be a choice between religious guidance and high-brow paternalism. Their charts, their statistics, their religion...all presented quite intelligently and matter-of-factly.
On the education side, Lisa Miller of Newsweek notes that
there are those who:
“…..believe that comprehensive sex education is the best way to assure that young girls don’t unexpectedly find themselves at the abortion clinic.”
HotAir poster Laura
believes in the abstinence mantra:
“Don’t do this; it’s not time in your life yet for this.”Both sides have merit, and it is not hard to believe that each side would acknowledge that a bit of both messages are not totally unreasonable.
What I find amusing is the fervor of the so-called debate…the
either/or. Even at my advanced age, I remember my sex education classes at Concord High School. It was probably a mixture of mechanics along with a little bit of “you’ll be sorry”.
But there is one thing that neither sex education nor the abstinence indoctrination can never do. No matter how wise we want our tweens and teens to be, no matter how many films and presentations we show them, no matter how many times we tell them what can happen if they find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy….how their lives will be ruined, their youth stolen from them…..
No matter what we say or do, no matter how many government programs are dedicated to preventing teen pregnancy, no matter how good our parenting skills, there is something even more powerful than the government and parenting.
I am sorry, Big Brother, and I am sorry Mr. And Mrs. Cleaver. There is something way more powerful than either of you put together. It does not matter that your daughter is an A-student, on the varsity hockey team, and has what you consider to be acceptable friends.
It does not matter at all, because when she is steaming up the back seat of a Chevy with the bass player all that goes out of the window.
Anecdotally speaking, of course.
And, at that moment, the pictures of the human reproductive system are the last thing on her mind. She might remember something about condoms…somewhere….somewhere that is in the back of her mind but the windows are steaming and the moment is right and it can’t happen to me and then OMG and then maybe a moment of hesitation and doubt and thinking about what Mom told her and then but the smell is so sweet and everything is all warm and she knows it is wrong but there it is….there it is, and then it happens so fast and she knows it is wrong somehow but not sure exactly why because it seems so right.
And just like Scarlett O’Hara, she knows that tomorrow will be another day.
HotAir contribution Laura
goes on to say:
“We object to the theory that teenagers are mindless bags of hormones who can’t be expected to control themselves.”But oh my dear, of course they are mindless. That is what being a teenager is all about.
The most sophisticated of educations and the most nurturing and enlightened parents are helpless to stop it. Both sides of the faux debate are off base if they are exclusive in their prescription.
Maybe they are a little too old to remember. The intellectualization of sex is a lost cause. It cannot be done. And for those who may be beyond their teenage years, one only has to harken to
the words of the middle-aged Molly Bloom to remind us that we are helpless against it:
“……my God after that long kiss I near lost my breath yes he said I was a flower of the mountains yes so we are flowers all a womans body yes that was one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for you today yes...
...I was a Flower of the mountains yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him and yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will yes.”I tend to think that it is the parenting that is the most influential, but even that is helpless against the moment.
The true test of parenting, and the true test of society is what happens afterwards.